Everyone makes mistakes, but it’s a little flippant to apply that idea to something as horrible as cheating on someone you love. You can cheat and learn from the mistake, though, which real learning means that you need to own up to your actions. You HAVE to tell the person you cheated on that you did. They deserve to know and you deserve any punishment you receive because of your indiscretions. Read 7 self punishments for infidelity.
Decide You Really Want To
When you think about telling your significant other that you cheated, you have to understand that you are committing to the idea. You can’t just say that you were unfaithful and then skip out on giving the rest of the details or not getting your just desserts. You have to understand the consequences and know that this is actually something that you really DO want to do. Be completely sure of yourself before you break the news to them or you’ll just come off as disingenuous. You don’t want to look even worse than you already will, do you?
Before you do tell your partner, know that you’re going to have to be forthcoming with a lot of information or you’ll look suspicious. You should also know all of these things for yourself in the case you are actually deeply apologetic. Understand why you cheated, why you cheated on your partner with that person specifically, and if you’re in danger of doing it again. These will most likely be questions that your partner asks you and you NEED to know the answers. Saying “I don’t know” or shrugging just make you look apathetic and like you don’t really care about the severity of the issue at hand.
Find the Perfect Moment
This kind of news isn’t something that you want to blurt out suddenly. You also don’t want to make a bad situation worse or completely wreck your partner’s good time with heartbreaking news. You should tell your partner as quickly as possible or else you’ll look like someone who is prone to hiding things and don’t really feel that badly about what you did. It’s also good to think about the place you’re in when you reveal the information. Don’t do it in public. Do it someplace where they can be comfortable and at ease so you aren’t making them even more tense than they already are.
Don’t Get Mad at the Reaction
Your partner might swear at you, hit below the belt, or do something horrible. There are some reactions that you DO have a right to be mad at, such as physical violence towards you or doing something that could harm someone, but any words are officially fair play. Remember that YOU brought this upon yourself and it’s unfair that you get to decide how they react to news that might crush them and wound their ability to trust other people. This is part of your punishment for indulging in infidelities. You’re going to have to take it and understand that you did this, not them.
Learn Your Lesson
Be glad that your partner is willing to stay with you, if they do. Also understand that them leaving you is a very real outcome. In either scenario, make sure that you’ve learned your lesson. If you’re really so unhappy in your relationship, end it and move on. There’s no excuse for cheating unless your partner is abusive and you can’t leave the relationship, and in that case you should understand what might happen if they find out you’ve been cheating. Regardless, you have a lot of issues to overcome now and you should never EVER cheat again